Pants

as much as you disappoint me right now, as much as i despise and dislike you now. i miss you so much surprisingly.
i talk down on you. complain and show remorse. only because you leave me confused and absolutely clueless to why you are doing what you are doing.

why can't anyone be the least bit god damned easy to read anymore.
i cant name one person other than my close girl friends who i truly understand.
(yes, i did say 'girl friends', i'm a little creeped out by my choice of words as well.)
who knows what the fuck any one is up to these days. there are whores and junkies out on the loose everywhere.
i'm bitter, i know i am.
maybe it's the fact i've been randomly tired for the past three days and no matter how much sleep i get i won't feel any strength. or the fact that i'm more emotional than usual, and my bras won't fit anymore because my breasts have now officially grown out of them in the last, uh, two days.
the funny thing is, i dont want them any larger than they have been before. i'm not a happy camper right now, partly with these reasons listed.

on a normal night, i wouldnt blog about such obscene things. i'd usually be embarassed or bewildered with words.
words don't come out right anymore,
haven't for a while.
i have been reading words backwards more often, maybe i'm dyslexic. that would be neat, too bad i'm not. i just freakishly read one word or two backwards from time to time.


oh fuck you if you're doing what i think you're doing
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuckthisblogandhowstupidandpointlessitisandhowmiserablyborediam
becausei'mathomeandcan'tgetoutofthisbedforthelifeofmebecauseihavenopowerinmetodo
so.iwishicouldfeelclosetosomebodybutidontfeelnothing.wasiquotingsomething?maybe,
maybenot.canttellanymore.ihatethisonegirlwhoithinkiscompletelyawhore,whyisshehere,
she'ssogrossandisprobablyinfestedwith345835STDSwithheroutmostinnocentfront.
cuttheshitplastic,yournotanythingtotheworldbutacheapfuckhereandthere.youhavestupidhair
andyoureyoungasfuck

sex and the city can bite me right now, i'm in to much of a bad mood to watch shit
i dont even have a reason to be
but it feels so damn good