I've never had to knock on wood, but I know someone who has

It's 10:40,
I leave in an hour and 20 minutes.
I'm done packing and getting ready, and doing all my morning stuff.
So what now?
I downloaded a bunch of old Mighty Mighty Bosstones.

Here are the exact directions my sister gave me,
"1 - When you go through Beaufort on 21, merge right on 17 NORTH (where that gas station bldg is on the corner, you said you know where this is)

2 - Stay going straight for about 25-30 min. WATCH YOUR SPEED!!!!

3 - See the nasty Church's Chicken/Gas station. Stay in your RIGHT LANE. (This is still 17-N)

4 - Straight for about 25-30 min.

5 - When you pass a sign for 526, pass that exit, immediately look out for a McDonald's on your LEFT. TURN LEFT at that LIGHT (Skylark Rd.) I will meet you there!"

everything makes sense except for number 5.
but it doesn't seem too hard, right?
I hope I get a lot of texts this weekend, I wont be on the internet much.
Good thing is it's supposed to be warm today and tomorrow, so maybe my sister and I can go to Folly Beach (:
I love Folly!
I used to boogie-board there before I could somewhat surf..
I don't know if you guys saw my surfing pictures from last summer, hah!
But I wanna take it up again this summer, I mean why not? I could learn more, and I was good at it last year so that means I will be better this year, especially from snowboarding this month.
Ahh, I just can't wait for warm weather in general! It's weird, towards fall I was somewhat looking forward to winter, just because, change is always glamorous to the mind. But when I finally got into winter again...I realized it wasn't what I wanted. Summer was what I really wanted, this whole time. Sure winter includes amazing clothing, snow activities, and fires and it may seem appealing, but it's really just cold and the same as it was last year.
Oh well, winter wasn't so bad.
Christmas and stuff is always fun :D

Anyways, I really came onto blogspot today with nothing to blog about so my little rant on how I like weather probably bored you to tears, so sorry! These will get more interesting one of these days..
When I actually think of neat things to say!
Wish me a safe trip to Charleston! It's the farthest I've gone yet.
Bye.

So why don't we go somewhere only we know?

Listening to Keane is one of those things where you either feel really gay listening to it, or really serene.

Today was really extremely long..
and I could sit here and complain about some ridiculous remark that either Davis did or didn't say, but.
Why care, really? The people I'm closest to know it never happened so why care about people who don't matter?
that's all I have to say on that subject.

I've had the worst splitting headache for the last three days, in like the same spot. No matter what types of headache medicine I take or how much of it I take, it doesn't go away.
And I feel really sick.
Who knows, it could just be from stress.
I don't know why, last night I was pretty mellow.
Terry if you're reading this, I'm sorry about the prom fiasco. I'm going to say the motherly thing, "Anyone would be lucky to go to the prom with you, you handsome devil ;)"
Sorry we couldn't hang out today either, Wednesday is usually my day with Bridget...kind of.

Bridget and I were going to go to Wild Wings, but beforehand we decided we could use a nice refreshing work out. So we get our work out clothes on and head to the gym. It was too late to really go to wild wings and meet up with everyone, so we just went to Sunset Pizzeria by ourselves, which was nice. Haha, until these two sick like 30 year old men come up and go, "so ladies...anything we can get ya?" with these sick grins and staring at us. And I'm just like...what? Are these waiters or something? hahaha, so I actually look down at my cup to see if I needed a refill but when I looked up I could tell...they did NOT work here. and then we were just like, NO no, no. we're fine.
They left us alone after that.
I mean the pizzeria, is basically half a bar.
so, they were probably way past sober. Nonetheless, it was gross.

Anypants, I hope I feel better soon :(
'specially since I'm going to Charleston this weekend to visit my sister :]
I get to drive all by myself, how much fun. I'm going to get so lost, I barely know how to get to Savannah without getting confused, I have to meet her in West Ashley and I don't even know where that is.

Download, "Kicking Your Crosses Down" by Circa Survive.
It's my favorite song of the week, most played on Itunes recently it says.

'If I weren't married to the streets, it'd be to you.'

First off, I saw an interesting video of Lindsay Lohan from the Oscars sunday..
Does she not act a little high here?


Right.
Anyways. Nothing bothers me anymore, I think it's great.
Except the fact that I feel cold all the time now, what's up with that? I need to change the heat settings in the upstairs I guess.
Right now, I'm watching Caddshack (: Classic Chevy Chase film, if you ask me.
Also I'm driving up to Charleston this weekened! I love Chucktowwwwn.

I had intensely weird dreams last night... first I kept dreaming of this skateboarding dog, who was better than I was. (It was weird seeing as I don't skateboard..)
and then, there was this snowboarding competition, except some people snowboarded on mats, and all this weird shit? Mostly everyone I knew was competing, but this white guy with an afro won. I came in second :]
I had a lot of other weird dreams too but they aren't worth mentioning.
I'm so excited to get free pancakes today! Ihop is God, I swear it. With how bad the economy is, it's pretty neat how they are able to batch up all these free pancakes.

I think I have matured a lot since last weekend, and only because of certain awkward situations I was in. I could have made a mess of it, said mean things, but I just said mmm forget it! & I had lots of fun. This wouldn't make sense at all unless I told you the whole story, but trust me, it's a good one.
Not just that either, I just stopped caring about people who are obviously no good for me, (no one specific, I actually have a few people in mind) and I'm better than that.
So it's just been a few days full of realizations and turn outs.

And with you...I'm not sure if I'm ready to start anything yet..
It's too soon, and you are really neat but we just met and I'm just not ready.
I don't want to lead you on either and I know that you really like me,
but why move so fast?

BTW Haley and I...

are so getting free pancakes tomorrow (:

I gaurantee that you wake up in a better place and in a better time.

So like Aaron said, the new Donnie Darko is coming out. S Darko, it's called.
I don't know if it looks good, I dont think Donnie Darko is a movie to make a sequel to, one of those that you should leave as it is.
Thoughts?



So my car is ready, I just wasn't able to pick it up today because I was out too long, and the shop was closed by the time I got back into Bluffton.
I'm guessing that tomorrow I will just go with my dad to work & swing by and get it. It's also by Breakthrough gym, so I'll work out too.
It's funny how I can do things completely unhealthy and not good for me one day yet spend the whole next day trying to all this healthy shit.
I'm just so incredibly glad that my car is done :)


You know what? I think I want to go to the gym everyday this week.
Is that bad though? I don't want to over work my body or anything, or run too much on the treadmill, haha.
Nooo, I think it should be fine.
I know I'm always talking about how basically awful my week has been, and believe me it wasn't that great.
But when I think about it...
Ever since Wednesday or Thursday I really haven't stayed at home, I'm always out and actually having more of a life. I need to stop complaining and realize, that things really are going good. I just complain about it when I'm bored and everyone is away at public school.
Really, I'm happy, I am...

ew.

My dad is having sex in the room below me again, and I can't stand hearing...it.
It makes my stomach twist in knots, not that my stomach isn't twisted enough.
I just kinda wish I had no worries right now, this week was a never-ending catastrophe.
One thing after another, I wonder, why does life do that to you?
It's like...it tricks you into thinking everything is fine and going a-okay, then everything just kind of fucks you. All at once. I kind of liked my good streak of days.
But nooooooo, those never last do they?
I think things will get better though, especially since I get my car back tomorrow. I'll feel a little more free and just clear my head, it's what I need.

And it's not that I dislike you, I dislike the things you do sometimes. It fucks me up a little once in a while, but I get over it.
Just call it what it was and we both know what it really was. Whatever, that's how you obviously wanted it/me. But I guess we can be friends, I don't really care.

Even though this weekend was a blur and fast as hell, I really enjoy you guys...
a neat group of kids, just wish we all met sooner, instead of like. Now.
Bah...
goodnight.

"Ahh, Melanie Perez, you're KILLING me!"

So I have probably been at my house approximately one hour this whole weekend. I'm undoubtedly tired, and I'm running out about a few hours or less of sleep.
Yesterday I got home, pretty sleepy and just blah. But I STILL wanted to get out of the house.
I just can't sit and have time to think right now because, with everything going on, I'll go insaaane.
So I went to lunch with Bridget, and then we went to see "He's just not that into you"

I didn't exactly want to watch that because I thought it was going to be gay as hell judging by the commercials, but of course it made me tear up at the end. I wasn't in an appropriate state to watch that kind of movie. It's okay though, I enjoyed it for the most part. So we went to Cheeburger after and shared a Mud-Pie milkshake. Whats your favorite milkshake there?
Anypants, we went to her mom's and made plans for the night. We decided to go to the wrestling match at Bluffton High, Haley took us and we met up with Evan and them.
Then we went back to Evan's & Tony met up with us. We went to LaHa!
Then Bridgets mom said we had to be home at 11 that night, :T so we went home on time.
But a couple hours gone by and Tony picked us up, and we went through the window and I got a really bad cut on my leg from getting out of there. So we went to his house and basically stayed the night there with Evan and them and all hung out, and.
chilled.
Now I'm home, & about to leave again to go to Target with HALEY!
<3


By the way, my dad picked me up from Bridgets this morning, (we got back to her house around 7:30 and went back to sleep til late-ish.)
and when he saw some guy on the street he goes,
"I wonder how many points I'd get for hitting that guy. How many points Melanie? HOW MANY?!"
And made me sit there and listen to Pink Floyd all the way home.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I have a lot of homework to do :/

If one more person..

asks me if I'm 'Alex Perez's little sister' again, I'm going to flip.
this is the 4th time since the State Radio concert.

Who the fuck is Logan Dutton?
He is a creep.

"

Logan

are u alex's little sister?

3:02pmMelanie

yeah

who is this

3:02pmLogan

haha

i am logan,

i am kinda friends with ur bro, and i heard he had a hot sister but i didnt believe it

but its true ha"

now he won't quit talking to me and trying to find out all this personal shit.

& since when was are girls attracted to getting hit on like that? It's not attractive in the least bit and it's pretty sick. hdfsoigiogsd.. all guys SUCK!

well is there something that you wanted from her? yes. I want her legs, body, and her cash.

"and is there something that you needed from her? no. and if she's playing hard to get i'm out the door."


My foot is currently in the state of sleep. If only it was so easy for my mind & body. I'm relaxed and content from the aroma of my always burning incense.
I was thinking. People want other people in complete opposite ways and it's hard to fit them exactly.
Everyone is either A or B.
A) They want someone who needs them and shows it.
B) They want someone who doesn't need them and shows it.

I'm B. I want someone who doesn't need me. How odd is that? But it's true thats what a lot of people want. There's some kind of joy and admiration in wanting whats hard to want back. Because it's like a new challenge everyday, almost some kind of excitement. & to some people it's not as scary, because the person who doesn't need them, never pushes anything or tries to rush into anything.
For the people that are A. Is actually more rare then B. But guys are more likely to be an A than B just because they like that a girl wants them around, and that they can be someone to lean on. Others can see it in a different way, this girl needs me so basically I feel like I have all control. I have this girl wrapped around my finger and I can do whatever I want and she can't do anything about it! Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be 'sexist' but you do find that more in guys than girls. Once that girl is viewed in that way, she will always be viewed that way to him. Because of that, she will never be taken seriously. I could never be an A because, I honestly hate the idea of being clung to. Some girls love it though, and see those guys the same way I said guys see girls. This has nothing to do with any guy in particular by the way, it's just an overall point I'm trying to make. Anyways, I don't like feeling suffocated I guess. In a way you can say I like the hard to get guys, but in less of a 'game' way. It's just weird how different people are. I don't know which is better either. I want to be an A, because finding someone would be so much easier for me. Not only that, but someone who really is a good guy. Is it weird to say I've always liked the assholes? Is that normal in the least bit? I think it is, but every girl has their tolerance levels of that kind of guy. Some are short, some can last really long. Some learn from who they were with, and some just crave more of that pain. They crave that crazy pain because it's one of the only kinds of pain that is actually fun and pleasurable to get! It's addicting, so they keep looking for more and more assholes. I've had my share of assholes and sincerely, that pain is just getting more and more of a hassle. Then I've had the sweet ones, and they never did anything wrong and were almost perfect. So why even hold a candle to the assholes? When the perfect ones just got kicked to the curb. Now that I think back on the almost perfect guys I once had, I start feeling a little regretful. I had one in the palm of my hand, he adored me in every way but I'd look for any excuse or flaw to be incredibly sickened by him. I hurt him, and it didn't hit me until now that what happened to him really is a shitty feeling. A year or two later he is completely different, he's now the 'man-whore' and I'm pretty sure he's been using girls and just...not like he was.
I'm different now myself, and I look back on picking the little nothing flaws on the people that don't deserve that, yet try to pretend all those real flaws on the assholes are just...non-existent. Sure it was fun in the making, but in the long run it just left me in a situation where it started happening back to me. I think it's making me more mature and realize you have to just...go with it.
I don't want to be B anymore.
I want to do things differently.
I want to start growing up.

I'm left

so completely heartbroken and surprised, and it's like my worst nightmare came true.
just one more thing i need these days, it's too much.


it's way too much. but aside from how i feel, and who i like and don't like..

why are you doing this to yourself?

YES!

I just got the most cheesiest pick up line said to me EVER in my life just now



"how often do you get to see an angel everyday?"


BAHAH

Quote time

"someday, someone is going to walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else."

It's like the unfinished story of my LIFE!

My baby got sauuuce

Okay
everyone is asking me if my last blog meant i was 'pregnant' or thought i was.
NOOOOOOOO! it actually had 100% nothing to do with that! so stop asking me!
jeez even my friends are asking me, don't you think i'd tell you first before blogging about it?
& bah, my dad's new girlfriends are always so annoying, and they are the same in everyway.
they are the fakest people i know. they are alike in these ways:
- Fake ass blonde hair to cover up their natural color that made them feel more ugly, to change how they really look
- cake on an ass load of foundation to make themselves look as flawless as always. wake up father, take a napkin and rub it across the face and lets see what they really look like.
-over do the eye make up
-wear stupid dresses to make themselves look skinnier
-and if you compare pictures to how they used to look, maybe like in high school (which was like the 80's) you realize they look NOTHING like they do now...they are that desperate to be fake..

and those are the signs of fake women. I don't see why my dad doesnt get that, they all fuck him over in the end anyways, in more ways then others. leave him after he pays for what they want. fucks other doctors. screws other people in general and acts like they are so innocent, and promises it will never happen again because they have changed. well it happened again and you are still fake and too blonde for your own good. (That goes out to you Jennifer Allen)

I shouldnt have to be around stupid people like this, it's ANNOYING! and after being around them tonight i am nothing more than completely annoyed.
goodnight


ps. any movie about cheerleading, male cheerleaders, highschoolers cheering, trying to win a cheer competetion
SUCKS
and is a poor excuse for a movie

ohhh shit...

this isn't good..

this is not good.

the world was moving, she was floating above it.

last night was amazingly fun, state radio & rebelution are absolutely terrific live. it was packed towards the front, and everyone was just going crazy and dancing, sexually. haha, it was so much fun!
bridget & i stayed at the meeting street inn, it was such a cute little hotel. we got our own room, but as soon as we got home we went straight to sleep. my feet were killing me.
then, i got dropped off in Beaufort to see some family for a late valentines day present exchange thing. I had a long talk with my brother andre telling me everything my other brother, alex was saying and hearing about me. all still coming from mariah. she has been telling my brother that I throw all these wild parties at my dads house, that i slept with all these guys recently, and that i get naked at parties, and all this insanely weird shit! but you see, what i find funny is, how would she know all this? I mean, the last time i really hung out with her was at the conor oberst show. and that was like, one night and i didnt sleep with different guys and throw these wild parties and get naked all in that night. so really, she doesnt know me anymore and has no right to make things up about me especially to my family. its one thing if its to stupid kids i dont care about, but to my brother its crossing the line. & it's really immature! that's why this is my last blog about all this traumatic shit with my family from you because, from now on i wont fuel the fire. I am going to forget about you, and not associate myself with you again and avoid as much drama you have to offer as possible. The only thing I unfortunatly can't control is when and what you say to my brother, but that's his choice to believe you.
on a lighter note, i get my car back hopefully around wednesday.
i won't feel like such a bum anymore. i like having transportation available at all times, because my dad's never here to take me places and i dont have that social aspect of school to see people, so really my car is the only thing that keeps me in the loop. but it's nice when people come here to see me and take me places (: i really enjoy that.

and, i think this week i will focus on doing things that relax me incedibly. which would include:
- tanning outside in the nice sun (if there is sun this week, not a good chance)
- going in the hot tub, to soak & think.
- going grocery shopping by myself which i love doing.
- shopping in general, and i don't even have to buy anything, window shopping is fine with me.
- having deep conversations with close people in my life
- making amends with anyone i'm not on good terms with (not you mariah, you just suck)
- cleaning and organizing my room, maybe get a little book shelf or something.
- see catie more
- see some other people more
- listen and download new music
- go running and start going to the gym i just joined
- and. i don't know. massage people

oh, these lyrics are absolutely cute. this has always been a favorite song of mine :] but i like man in the hall better, actually, they just never played it. oh well, here:

But you see this woman is all I got
So Mr. Larkin, see I know she knows who I am
Every now and then she'll squeeze my hand
It's what I live for it's why she won't die

See one day some guy will feel that way about ME! :D

dream me, oh dreamer. down to the floor.

I can't cook for shit, I burnt the batch of cookies i've been dying to make for a while now.
Haha, bahh. I guess my mind is in other places!
I had a great day today :]
At least from around 3-now.
before my brother was still texting me saying awful things, and how he doesn't want me to be a stripper one day.
Understandable, what brother would want their sister to be a stripper after all? Luckily, I have no thought in my mind of being one of those :D
So, we're all good.
I'm doing well in school. I'm proud! & even though it's my junior year I am looking at a variety of colleges, I'm interested in a couple, actually.
The State Radio concert is this Saturday and I am so incredibly stoked! I'm buying my tickets tonight.
I just got rid of Frostwire and got one of those Torrent downloader, things. I'm confused with how it works, though :T
But I'll get it soon enough. Well I'm getting off now, I have a lot of things to do.

waking up from it all

you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me

but do you know what DOES mean a thing to me?
my wonderful trip!
that has came, and gone. oh so quickly! so, here is the blog i've been so antsy to write about.
okay so thursday night, i spent the night at bridget's and we woke up super early to get to the mountains asap.
we get there, unpack and...bridget and I go straight to the hot tub. & take a nice shower.
but we had to like, walk down this snowy hill to get there, not too far from the cabin.
OH which reminds me, before we did that, we built a snowman! you see, this is really my first 'snow' experience so I wanted to take advantage of it. i made 2 snow angels, and we made this huge snowman. i put my russian furry hat on it, to make it look Russian, of course. so, that was cute.
err. yeah, then when we were done with showers & stuff, we go back and I help the tiltons make spaghetti :]
so, the next morning we went SNOWBOARDINGGG yeah!
I was totally pro, at that by the way. I even went down a black diamond! it was very steeeeep,
the ski lifts are fun.
cute boys too! all mysterious snow types.
hmm.
so yeah, we went out by ourselves in downtown boone to go man hunting, haha. and we went to this cute little coffee shop, it was fun.
tom is haunted.
i'll add more on later, i'm sick of typing.

I'll collect the signs along the way, along the path.

This is the last blog I will be posting before I leave for North Carolina, to go snowboarding.
To let everyone know, I will be reachable, maybe not by many phone calls.
But I can text 24/7 up there. Especially on the way there, I will love nothing more than to text :]

Also, as to my last blog, I am a little bit more calmed down. I have learned to not worry about those people anymore, or any of the 'drama' they start. I hate using the word drama because it makes me feel like I'm on some pity teenage reality show. That's what that word reminds me of, I hate using it. Anyways, beside the point. I am done caring about that. I took a lot of time to think tonight, and talk to a lot of people about everything, and I'm fine. I'm still a little bothered by something in particular though, but it doesn't shock me that he'd say something like that, knowing it WOULD get back to me. Hah, fuck it?

Tomorrow morning, I will be with Terry while he job shadows my dad.
I have to take my car to Bluffton Autoparts tomorrow to hopefully get fixed ASAP. We have to file a police report for insurance reasons, hopefully it will be covered well enough. I'm not hurt by the accident, but I wasn't wearing a seat belt. If I didn't look in front of me as soon as I did, I wouldnt have slowed down at ALL and it would have been a much worse wreck, the guy who checked it out said I could have gone flying through the fucking windsheild.
It will take a while to fix all the repairs, but luckily I'll be on this little trip not around my car, so maybe it will be ready by the time I get back. Or close to being ready. I can't believe that fucking water tower just HAD to look like a UFO. I'm such an idiot sometimes.
But, I'm hoping to have more peace at mind when I return to the island on Tuesday, and not stress out as much as I have. I find that Sabrina the Teenage Witch really calms me (:
I love that show. I've also been eating Mini Oreo's before bed. & it makes me happy! Today was insane on many levels, well it's about one o'clock now so I should say yesterday. It made me realize who some people are, and how they handle things, and what they hear. & who they hear it from, I mean Davis? Not the best source, to find truth from. No offence, Davis, if for some reason you are reading this instead of whatever you do on the internet these days.
But it caused a lot of things yesterday.

Anyways, back to about my trip. We are going to stay in this cute little cabin in the mountains!
The water heater, and pressure there SUCKS. So unless we walk down this really large hill and around the lobby area, we can take decent showers by the indoor pool. It's a cute little cabin resort...place. & really old timey looking, which I find interesting sometimes. I can't wait til I can blog about the trip afterwards, and tell you if me snowboarding for the second time is an epic fail or not. I hope I don't come back with an ugly cast. Bah, now I have to knock on wood.
I'm trying to make this blog as interesting as I can, and I don't know if I'm doing so or not, but lets cross our fingers!

I think I have some new goals in mind as well. I want to become more athletic, I want to keep up this running I've been doing lately, paint more, and invest in a piano or keyboard of some sort!
I want to get my academics up and really meet some new interesting people!
I want to indulge in deep meaningful conversations, and become a better driver. Also, I want to keep in mind that STATE RADIO IS OH SO SOOOOOON. & Rebelution :D
I'm so effing excited. Thats one of the only things I can think about. Snowboarding and State Radio/Rebelution concert. Three cheers for a small, yet swell agenda! Also, looking foward to Bonnaroo, but that's not for a while & my parents still have to agree on me going, & trust me for once! So no getting my hopes up for that. I mean, what shenanigans can I get into at Bonnaroo?
...ehh, that was a stupid thing to say.
Nonetheless, the parentals can trust me ;]

I think I'm done with this blog, farewell Blogspot, for the short time being.
and like I said, DO text me a lot! I enjoy texting on vacations, to a great extent!
& if I like you enough, maybe I'll bring you back snow. Or a souvenior.
T-shirt?

No longer easy on the eyes.

I can't wait to leaaaave, and go on this snowboarding trip.
This week will be one of the longest of my life.
It seems like the perfect time to just take a break from things. I've been cooped up here for too long, and I need to be around another environment.
Somedays I think I want to completely change myself. Start over, hang around new people, or the right old ones. Like the closest people to me now. I want a different experience, I'm so bored these days. The things that entertained me don't anymore. The people are getting old, the situations are getting way old. I'm about to break.
This makes me sound so fake, when I read over it. And I don't mean any of this in that way, to change just for the wrong reasons. If I did, it would still be me. And I'd still keep the people in my life that I respect and really click with. That are close to me, whatever.
It's just, everything is so repetitive.
I don't know.
I just really need a break, and when I come back Tuesday hopefully my mind will be at peace again.