He'll never come back as the man you dropped, he'll never come back as the man you loved.

after tonight, i feel a little better.
i've had a pretty good day : )
this morning, i did something.
then.
cody & catie & kara & anna & i went to moes.
(i love how many '&'s i put.)
and then, i went home, took a nap and then went on a 2 mile run, which was especially nice.
i took a break on the golf courses and just layed there in the grass breathing heavily, and looking up at the pretty mossy tree's and sky. listening to my ipod. everything was so vivid.
i come home, and call my school adviser and we go over my schedule.
so i'm taking a couple maths, astronomy, psychology, british literature, music theory, and french.
this is an okay schedule for me.
so, getting my subjects and everything out of the way I feel much better.
Then, desiree and i have a long conversation on the phone about school and what we plan to do.
we both want to go to scad next year, she wants to go for performing arts (which she totally can, she has the greatest potential, hopefully we'd room together) and i want to go there for fashion design. there are a few different things i'd like to do in fashion, however. either design and start with a little botique, or write for some fashion magazine (dream big right?) or be a fashion intern.
i'd like to work behind the scenes in fashion shows and hopefully one day have my designs get put on models.
at scad, if i were to ever make it into the fashion program, they do really exciting things. I did my research. At the end of your journey, towards gradution, they send you out and pick out a certain kind of fabric and color(s). then you have to put together about 5 outfits and with your class theres a little over 100 outfits. people choose from them and if you're lucky enough, your outfit could be used on the runway, and all these designers will see it!
i have so many ideas for outfits, i have them painted in my head just not put on paper.
i'm going to start sketching all of my ideas and if they are good enough i will use them when I apply.
So, i feel a little more relieved now that i kind of have something figured out. It's not a sure thing of course it's just my goal.
tomorrow i'm going to go desk hunting to get everything set up.
i need one in my room anyways.
i'm super excited. I told my dad about my plan and i was all, well, i'd like to get a job in retail so i can have something in clothing to put on a resume. and to do this, well i need a car. to get to work.
and so now, i think he is more 'gung-ho' on helping me get one.
ha, i'm pretty sure he wants me out of the house asap anyways.
with my job i'm gonna save up and be able to pay for my own insurance and everything else.
so, i don't want to need him to be in charge of paying for it and all this other stuff. i want to start doing things on my own.
as for the love life, i have a couple people in mind who i might be interested in, and vice versa, but i'm going with the flow for now.
so.
we shall see, what is in store for me ;]