It's funny how things work out.
I just got a text from some random number saying "Is this Melanie?"
& so I reply with a yes, and they say I'm Chase. Rj gave me your number, I wanted to know if you were single.
Hah, if only he asked me a few hours before.
So I'm done trying to put faith in someone who can't even put the littlest faith in me. I've given so many chances, so much of myself for someone I really thought I could believe, that I could believe in.
I was proved wrong, what I was afraid of.
I guess I just wanted so bad to feel wanted, and since October I've been feeling that slowly, and a couple times it all just got taken away from me but this time, I think I really believed it, you know? I thought maybe I am worth something, and maybe someone finally sees it.
What really hurts is that I think of the other girls that were able to get commitment and dedication and I only got one fucking day of it. How does that make someone feel, I mean, it's like I got punched in the stomach. I feel so sick, because I was starting to feel something that I can't even say now because I know it was all just a lie. It had to be, right? Otherwise things wouldn't turn out this way, so fast. Hopefully I'm something you'll miss and think about more one day because, at this point I just don't know when I can see you again.
I
don't even know what to do as of now. So.
here's to the start of a great year, hm?
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