cause it's too hard to belong to someone who is gone

so hurry up and run to the one that you love.
and blind him with your kindness.
and he'll make war, old war, on who you were before.
and he'll claim all that has spoiled in your heart.

I made a list of things that I want. Things that either have a cost, or that I want in general. I want better ankles. I want to stop sleeping so much in the morning. I want to be able to fall asleep at least before one. I want to spend a whole day taking pictures of everything I love. I want to spend a whole day with the ones I love. I want someone to love. I want a book filled with love letters from wars, written by heartbroken families. I want a love letter. I want to remember the smell of Florida. I want to know the smell of New York City. I want to go somewhere, other than Beaufort or Hilton head, or Bluffton. I want to taste a new ice cream flavor. I want to hug a stranger that is just like me, and hold on tight. I want to look through a telescope one of these nights. I want a fridge full of ice cold red bulls ready to be emptied. I want to cure someones heart that is tired of being empty. I want to ride in a taxi. I want to feel pretty. I want to finish all the books that I started and never reached the end. I want to meet new people. I want to learn how to play poker. I want to write songs again. I want to write poems that make sense to other people then myself. I want to own a photography camera. I want to paint more, preferably abstract. I want to feel something I've never touched. I want to watch Youtube videos on tidal waves. I want to play in some sort of open field in a pretty dress. I want a pen pal from a different country, not online but through mail. I want to explore the sea floor. I want an open mind and a kiss with closed eyes. I want everything I have never known.