this isn't good..
this is not good.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
the world was moving, she was floating above it.
last night was amazingly fun, state radio & rebelution are absolutely terrific live. it was packed towards the front, and everyone was just going crazy and dancing, sexually. haha, it was so much fun!
bridget & i stayed at the meeting street inn, it was such a cute little hotel. we got our own room, but as soon as we got home we went straight to sleep. my feet were killing me.
then, i got dropped off in Beaufort to see some family for a late valentines day present exchange thing. I had a long talk with my brother andre telling me everything my other brother, alex was saying and hearing about me. all still coming from mariah. she has been telling my brother that I throw all these wild parties at my dads house, that i slept with all these guys recently, and that i get naked at parties, and all this insanely weird shit! but you see, what i find funny is, how would she know all this? I mean, the last time i really hung out with her was at the conor oberst show. and that was like, one night and i didnt sleep with different guys and throw these wild parties and get naked all in that night. so really, she doesnt know me anymore and has no right to make things up about me especially to my family. its one thing if its to stupid kids i dont care about, but to my brother its crossing the line. & it's really immature! that's why this is my last blog about all this traumatic shit with my family from you because, from now on i wont fuel the fire. I am going to forget about you, and not associate myself with you again and avoid as much drama you have to offer as possible. The only thing I unfortunatly can't control is when and what you say to my brother, but that's his choice to believe you.
on a lighter note, i get my car back hopefully around wednesday.
i won't feel like such a bum anymore. i like having transportation available at all times, because my dad's never here to take me places and i dont have that social aspect of school to see people, so really my car is the only thing that keeps me in the loop. but it's nice when people come here to see me and take me places (: i really enjoy that.
and, i think this week i will focus on doing things that relax me incedibly. which would include:
- tanning outside in the nice sun (if there is sun this week, not a good chance)
- going in the hot tub, to soak & think.
- going grocery shopping by myself which i love doing.
- shopping in general, and i don't even have to buy anything, window shopping is fine with me.
- having deep conversations with close people in my life
- making amends with anyone i'm not on good terms with (not you mariah, you just suck)
- cleaning and organizing my room, maybe get a little book shelf or something.
- see catie more
- see some other people more
- listen and download new music
- go running and start going to the gym i just joined
- and. i don't know. massage people
oh, these lyrics are absolutely cute. this has always been a favorite song of mine :] but i like man in the hall better, actually, they just never played it. oh well, here:
But you see this woman is all I got
So Mr. Larkin, see I know she knows who I am
Every now and then she'll squeeze my hand
It's what I live for it's why she won't die
See one day some guy will feel that way about ME! :D
bridget & i stayed at the meeting street inn, it was such a cute little hotel. we got our own room, but as soon as we got home we went straight to sleep. my feet were killing me.
then, i got dropped off in Beaufort to see some family for a late valentines day present exchange thing. I had a long talk with my brother andre telling me everything my other brother, alex was saying and hearing about me. all still coming from mariah. she has been telling my brother that I throw all these wild parties at my dads house, that i slept with all these guys recently, and that i get naked at parties, and all this insanely weird shit! but you see, what i find funny is, how would she know all this? I mean, the last time i really hung out with her was at the conor oberst show. and that was like, one night and i didnt sleep with different guys and throw these wild parties and get naked all in that night. so really, she doesnt know me anymore and has no right to make things up about me especially to my family. its one thing if its to stupid kids i dont care about, but to my brother its crossing the line. & it's really immature! that's why this is my last blog about all this traumatic shit with my family from you because, from now on i wont fuel the fire. I am going to forget about you, and not associate myself with you again and avoid as much drama you have to offer as possible. The only thing I unfortunatly can't control is when and what you say to my brother, but that's his choice to believe you.
on a lighter note, i get my car back hopefully around wednesday.
i won't feel like such a bum anymore. i like having transportation available at all times, because my dad's never here to take me places and i dont have that social aspect of school to see people, so really my car is the only thing that keeps me in the loop. but it's nice when people come here to see me and take me places (: i really enjoy that.
and, i think this week i will focus on doing things that relax me incedibly. which would include:
- tanning outside in the nice sun (if there is sun this week, not a good chance)
- going in the hot tub, to soak & think.
- going grocery shopping by myself which i love doing.
- shopping in general, and i don't even have to buy anything, window shopping is fine with me.
- having deep conversations with close people in my life
- making amends with anyone i'm not on good terms with (not you mariah, you just suck)
- cleaning and organizing my room, maybe get a little book shelf or something.
- see catie more
- see some other people more
- listen and download new music
- go running and start going to the gym i just joined
- and. i don't know. massage people
oh, these lyrics are absolutely cute. this has always been a favorite song of mine :] but i like man in the hall better, actually, they just never played it. oh well, here:
But you see this woman is all I got
So Mr. Larkin, see I know she knows who I am
Every now and then she'll squeeze my hand
It's what I live for it's why she won't die
See one day some guy will feel that way about ME! :D
Thursday, February 12, 2009
dream me, oh dreamer. down to the floor.
I can't cook for shit, I burnt the batch of cookies i've been dying to make for a while now.
Haha, bahh. I guess my mind is in other places!
I had a great day today :]
At least from around 3-now.
before my brother was still texting me saying awful things, and how he doesn't want me to be a stripper one day.
Understandable, what brother would want their sister to be a stripper after all? Luckily, I have no thought in my mind of being one of those :D
So, we're all good.
I'm doing well in school. I'm proud! & even though it's my junior year I am looking at a variety of colleges, I'm interested in a couple, actually.
The State Radio concert is this Saturday and I am so incredibly stoked! I'm buying my tickets tonight.
I just got rid of Frostwire and got one of those Torrent downloader, things. I'm confused with how it works, though :T
But I'll get it soon enough. Well I'm getting off now, I have a lot of things to do.
Haha, bahh. I guess my mind is in other places!
I had a great day today :]
At least from around 3-now.
before my brother was still texting me saying awful things, and how he doesn't want me to be a stripper one day.
Understandable, what brother would want their sister to be a stripper after all? Luckily, I have no thought in my mind of being one of those :D
So, we're all good.
I'm doing well in school. I'm proud! & even though it's my junior year I am looking at a variety of colleges, I'm interested in a couple, actually.
The State Radio concert is this Saturday and I am so incredibly stoked! I'm buying my tickets tonight.
I just got rid of Frostwire and got one of those Torrent downloader, things. I'm confused with how it works, though :T
But I'll get it soon enough. Well I'm getting off now, I have a lot of things to do.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me
but do you know what DOES mean a thing to me?
my wonderful trip!
that has came, and gone. oh so quickly! so, here is the blog i've been so antsy to write about.
okay so thursday night, i spent the night at bridget's and we woke up super early to get to the mountains asap.
we get there, unpack and...bridget and I go straight to the hot tub. & take a nice shower.
but we had to like, walk down this snowy hill to get there, not too far from the cabin.
OH which reminds me, before we did that, we built a snowman! you see, this is really my first 'snow' experience so I wanted to take advantage of it. i made 2 snow angels, and we made this huge snowman. i put my russian furry hat on it, to make it look Russian, of course. so, that was cute.
err. yeah, then when we were done with showers & stuff, we go back and I help the tiltons make spaghetti :]
so, the next morning we went SNOWBOARDINGGG yeah!
I was totally pro, at that by the way. I even went down a black diamond! it was very steeeeep,
the ski lifts are fun.
cute boys too! all mysterious snow types.
hmm.
so yeah, we went out by ourselves in downtown boone to go man hunting, haha. and we went to this cute little coffee shop, it was fun.
tom is haunted.
i'll add more on later, i'm sick of typing.
my wonderful trip!
that has came, and gone. oh so quickly! so, here is the blog i've been so antsy to write about.
okay so thursday night, i spent the night at bridget's and we woke up super early to get to the mountains asap.
we get there, unpack and...bridget and I go straight to the hot tub. & take a nice shower.
but we had to like, walk down this snowy hill to get there, not too far from the cabin.
OH which reminds me, before we did that, we built a snowman! you see, this is really my first 'snow' experience so I wanted to take advantage of it. i made 2 snow angels, and we made this huge snowman. i put my russian furry hat on it, to make it look Russian, of course. so, that was cute.
err. yeah, then when we were done with showers & stuff, we go back and I help the tiltons make spaghetti :]
so, the next morning we went SNOWBOARDINGGG yeah!
I was totally pro, at that by the way. I even went down a black diamond! it was very steeeeep,
the ski lifts are fun.
cute boys too! all mysterious snow types.
hmm.
so yeah, we went out by ourselves in downtown boone to go man hunting, haha. and we went to this cute little coffee shop, it was fun.
tom is haunted.
i'll add more on later, i'm sick of typing.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
I'll collect the signs along the way, along the path.
This is the last blog I will be posting before I leave for North Carolina, to go snowboarding.
To let everyone know, I will be reachable, maybe not by many phone calls.
But I can text 24/7 up there. Especially on the way there, I will love nothing more than to text :]
Also, as to my last blog, I am a little bit more calmed down. I have learned to not worry about those people anymore, or any of the 'drama' they start. I hate using the word drama because it makes me feel like I'm on some pity teenage reality show. That's what that word reminds me of, I hate using it. Anyways, beside the point. I am done caring about that. I took a lot of time to think tonight, and talk to a lot of people about everything, and I'm fine. I'm still a little bothered by something in particular though, but it doesn't shock me that he'd say something like that, knowing it WOULD get back to me. Hah, fuck it?
Tomorrow morning, I will be with Terry while he job shadows my dad.
I have to take my car to Bluffton Autoparts tomorrow to hopefully get fixed ASAP. We have to file a police report for insurance reasons, hopefully it will be covered well enough. I'm not hurt by the accident, but I wasn't wearing a seat belt. If I didn't look in front of me as soon as I did, I wouldnt have slowed down at ALL and it would have been a much worse wreck, the guy who checked it out said I could have gone flying through the fucking windsheild.
It will take a while to fix all the repairs, but luckily I'll be on this little trip not around my car, so maybe it will be ready by the time I get back. Or close to being ready. I can't believe that fucking water tower just HAD to look like a UFO. I'm such an idiot sometimes.
But, I'm hoping to have more peace at mind when I return to the island on Tuesday, and not stress out as much as I have. I find that Sabrina the Teenage Witch really calms me (:
I love that show. I've also been eating Mini Oreo's before bed. & it makes me happy! Today was insane on many levels, well it's about one o'clock now so I should say yesterday. It made me realize who some people are, and how they handle things, and what they hear. & who they hear it from, I mean Davis? Not the best source, to find truth from. No offence, Davis, if for some reason you are reading this instead of whatever you do on the internet these days.
But it caused a lot of things yesterday.
Anyways, back to about my trip. We are going to stay in this cute little cabin in the mountains!
The water heater, and pressure there SUCKS. So unless we walk down this really large hill and around the lobby area, we can take decent showers by the indoor pool. It's a cute little cabin resort...place. & really old timey looking, which I find interesting sometimes. I can't wait til I can blog about the trip afterwards, and tell you if me snowboarding for the second time is an epic fail or not. I hope I don't come back with an ugly cast. Bah, now I have to knock on wood.
I'm trying to make this blog as interesting as I can, and I don't know if I'm doing so or not, but lets cross our fingers!
I think I have some new goals in mind as well. I want to become more athletic, I want to keep up this running I've been doing lately, paint more, and invest in a piano or keyboard of some sort!
I want to get my academics up and really meet some new interesting people!
I want to indulge in deep meaningful conversations, and become a better driver. Also, I want to keep in mind that STATE RADIO IS OH SO SOOOOOON. & Rebelution :D
I'm so effing excited. Thats one of the only things I can think about. Snowboarding and State Radio/Rebelution concert. Three cheers for a small, yet swell agenda! Also, looking foward to Bonnaroo, but that's not for a while & my parents still have to agree on me going, & trust me for once! So no getting my hopes up for that. I mean, what shenanigans can I get into at Bonnaroo?
...ehh, that was a stupid thing to say.
Nonetheless, the parentals can trust me ;]
I think I'm done with this blog, farewell Blogspot, for the short time being.
and like I said, DO text me a lot! I enjoy texting on vacations, to a great extent!
& if I like you enough, maybe I'll bring you back snow. Or a souvenior.
T-shirt?
To let everyone know, I will be reachable, maybe not by many phone calls.
But I can text 24/7 up there. Especially on the way there, I will love nothing more than to text :]
Also, as to my last blog, I am a little bit more calmed down. I have learned to not worry about those people anymore, or any of the 'drama' they start. I hate using the word drama because it makes me feel like I'm on some pity teenage reality show. That's what that word reminds me of, I hate using it. Anyways, beside the point. I am done caring about that. I took a lot of time to think tonight, and talk to a lot of people about everything, and I'm fine. I'm still a little bothered by something in particular though, but it doesn't shock me that he'd say something like that, knowing it WOULD get back to me. Hah, fuck it?
Tomorrow morning, I will be with Terry while he job shadows my dad.
I have to take my car to Bluffton Autoparts tomorrow to hopefully get fixed ASAP. We have to file a police report for insurance reasons, hopefully it will be covered well enough. I'm not hurt by the accident, but I wasn't wearing a seat belt. If I didn't look in front of me as soon as I did, I wouldnt have slowed down at ALL and it would have been a much worse wreck, the guy who checked it out said I could have gone flying through the fucking windsheild.
It will take a while to fix all the repairs, but luckily I'll be on this little trip not around my car, so maybe it will be ready by the time I get back. Or close to being ready. I can't believe that fucking water tower just HAD to look like a UFO. I'm such an idiot sometimes.
But, I'm hoping to have more peace at mind when I return to the island on Tuesday, and not stress out as much as I have. I find that Sabrina the Teenage Witch really calms me (:
I love that show. I've also been eating Mini Oreo's before bed. & it makes me happy! Today was insane on many levels, well it's about one o'clock now so I should say yesterday. It made me realize who some people are, and how they handle things, and what they hear. & who they hear it from, I mean Davis? Not the best source, to find truth from. No offence, Davis, if for some reason you are reading this instead of whatever you do on the internet these days.
But it caused a lot of things yesterday.
Anyways, back to about my trip. We are going to stay in this cute little cabin in the mountains!
The water heater, and pressure there SUCKS. So unless we walk down this really large hill and around the lobby area, we can take decent showers by the indoor pool. It's a cute little cabin resort...place. & really old timey looking, which I find interesting sometimes. I can't wait til I can blog about the trip afterwards, and tell you if me snowboarding for the second time is an epic fail or not. I hope I don't come back with an ugly cast. Bah, now I have to knock on wood.
I'm trying to make this blog as interesting as I can, and I don't know if I'm doing so or not, but lets cross our fingers!
I think I have some new goals in mind as well. I want to become more athletic, I want to keep up this running I've been doing lately, paint more, and invest in a piano or keyboard of some sort!
I want to get my academics up and really meet some new interesting people!
I want to indulge in deep meaningful conversations, and become a better driver. Also, I want to keep in mind that STATE RADIO IS OH SO SOOOOOON. & Rebelution :D
I'm so effing excited. Thats one of the only things I can think about. Snowboarding and State Radio/Rebelution concert. Three cheers for a small, yet swell agenda! Also, looking foward to Bonnaroo, but that's not for a while & my parents still have to agree on me going, & trust me for once! So no getting my hopes up for that. I mean, what shenanigans can I get into at Bonnaroo?
...ehh, that was a stupid thing to say.
Nonetheless, the parentals can trust me ;]
I think I'm done with this blog, farewell Blogspot, for the short time being.
and like I said, DO text me a lot! I enjoy texting on vacations, to a great extent!
& if I like you enough, maybe I'll bring you back snow. Or a souvenior.
T-shirt?
Monday, February 2, 2009
No longer easy on the eyes.
I can't wait to leaaaave, and go on this snowboarding trip.
This week will be one of the longest of my life.
It seems like the perfect time to just take a break from things. I've been cooped up here for too long, and I need to be around another environment.
Somedays I think I want to completely change myself. Start over, hang around new people, or the right old ones. Like the closest people to me now. I want a different experience, I'm so bored these days. The things that entertained me don't anymore. The people are getting old, the situations are getting way old. I'm about to break.
This makes me sound so fake, when I read over it. And I don't mean any of this in that way, to change just for the wrong reasons. If I did, it would still be me. And I'd still keep the people in my life that I respect and really click with. That are close to me, whatever.
It's just, everything is so repetitive.
I don't know.
I just really need a break, and when I come back Tuesday hopefully my mind will be at peace again.
This week will be one of the longest of my life.
It seems like the perfect time to just take a break from things. I've been cooped up here for too long, and I need to be around another environment.
Somedays I think I want to completely change myself. Start over, hang around new people, or the right old ones. Like the closest people to me now. I want a different experience, I'm so bored these days. The things that entertained me don't anymore. The people are getting old, the situations are getting way old. I'm about to break.
This makes me sound so fake, when I read over it. And I don't mean any of this in that way, to change just for the wrong reasons. If I did, it would still be me. And I'd still keep the people in my life that I respect and really click with. That are close to me, whatever.
It's just, everything is so repetitive.
I don't know.
I just really need a break, and when I come back Tuesday hopefully my mind will be at peace again.
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