Pants

i wanted to have a good night, i went shopping for clothes and had a day planned all out
i met up with desiree and we went to the show, my curfew is 12 and i wanted to make it without no complaints to avoid anymore arguments with my dad.
lately i've been feeling kinda shitty and i was trying to put my best face on at coligny and did for the most part, but..
i just really didnt want to be there. i didn't feel comfortable or wanted.
so i left by 11:45 to hopefully make curfew, i could have gone somewhere else.
but yeah, i walk through the door expecting my dad there waiting for me.
no, his car is in the garage. okay, so i walk inside. no ones inside the house, but wait whats that noise? is someone getting murdered?

no it's my dad fucking his girlfriend. at this point my stomach is twisting and i feel like puking.
i can still hear it, they are still going at it, i cant stand it. he gives me lectures on how he wants me home at this certain time and he is very paranoid until i'm home. yeah seems like it, seems like you're really paranoid, i'm fucking disgusted.

i hate it here, i dont know what the fuck is going to happen after this summer, i dont want to stay here. first of all half of the people are leaving, second of all this house is the lonliest place i've ever been, i hate being here.
i cant go to my moms, she'd rather have her cheating-child molesting-cock roach nigger boyfriend sleep there.
are they still fucking downstairs really? it sounds like a cheap porno made in a basement in the 80's.
so what the fuck
i feel like im walking through summer and when its over theres no where else to walk.
its almost as if its the end of a cliff and you have no choice but to just jump

i'm sick of always feeling ignored, and feeling shitty all the time and stooping down to writing 8th grader pity-feel-sorry-for-me son of a bitch blogs about it.

sometimes a diary doesnt cut it
i hate tonight i hate tonight i hate tonight i hate tonight



i hate acting like those girls who are always fucking sad cause im not, but its no fun to blog when you're happy cause you have better things to do when you're happy

damn it

fuck