Wednesday, April 22, 2009

"hiding from my friends in the bathroom at thrift town to write this tune down."

Well, I've been sick all week. Today I'm way better, I thought I was fully better when this morning came around. So that's that. I wish I could feel more comfortable writing in here. Theres a few things I'd really like to say but I'm not good with being that open to the world. Or to people I know that read this. I feel like I'm going no where a lot. I've given it a lot of thought. and why is it, that whenever I start becoming friends with a guy that becomes an 'addition' to our 'group' or whatever you'd call it, will start to like me? I don't feel it back. What is it about me that makes it easy to fall for, for guys that are my friends then the outsiders? No one else acts like they give a damn.
I've always put too much effort into things that I waste my time doing so. Things up to being a 'ballerina' to sports to any other category that's failed me. Nothing will stick. I don't have a....hobby? I can play the piano, but so can anyone who will look up youtube videos. I used to think I was talented with playing the piano until people just pointed out how delusional I am.
It's my own fault, I quit piano lessons when I was younger just like everything. I quit tennis too. Soccer, I just didn't care about. The sad thing is, I'd like to say I'm extremely wise to back up all this stuff but I'm not. I'm not stupid, but I'm not someone you'd want to have an intelligent conversation with. Todays just been one of those shitty days I guess.

No comments: