I slammed my finger in the door and i was like FUUUUCK, this hurts so bad. and i looked down and my fingernail was like, bleeding. I didn't think much of it until i was sitting there and my heart just started speeding up and i felt really woozy. i thought it was because of how bad it hurt and seeing blood. then i felt like i was going to throw up immediately, but weirdly enough i never did. instead my vision got all weird and slowly brighter and brighter until i couldn't see at all. then i tried talking and i couldnt hear myself. so i tried getting myself downstairs to my half-brother michael for some help and i could barely make it down the stairs without passing out at the bottom. i felt like i was knocked out for forever, but having a glass of water really helped. i have no idea why that happened, but my sister said i had a panic attack because of the stupid pain. but i had to have been stressed out about something too. i guess you can say that sounds correct. mentally i'm not the healthiest person. i thought i've been better too but i don't know, i have really deep lows.
anyways, i'm fine now, can't really feel my finger though but it's okay. after i felt better i went over to bridgets yet again to play another game of apples to apples with bridget tony abby and gianna. bridgets mom had just gotten a chemical peel and looked a little ridiculous haha, but i love her anyways. we were getting ready to go to a school game thing and had a little photoshoot in the midst of it all. i'll post some pictures after this blog is done being typed : )
i'm a little bummed about this upcoming christmas. it'll be the first christmas where none of my family is in town, well basically none. Lacie just got married as you all know, and she & zack live in Hawaii so I think they are spending it there or with his family in Washington. Natalie & her husband Terry are spending time with his family this year since they were with my family last year. it's almost like visitation between children and their parents haha. Taking turns with eachothers families for christmas. And Andre and his wife Lindsey & my niece live in Wyoming with Lindsey's family because they can't afford to live on their own anywhere else. So buying a ticket to come here is definitely out of the question. It's also my turn to wake up at my dads house for christmas, basically meaning my mom has to spend a majority of it alone which really kills me. I know her boyfriend was shit and we all hated him but at least she had someone she 'loved' to spend holidays with but now she has absolutely no one. I know she's made mistakes with us but she's still my mother and I don't want to see her lonely on Christmas, but luckily i think she is going up to visit my sister and them for christmas. I guess I wont be spending much time in Beaufort for Christmas. This sucks, especially because I fucking miss Lacie. Holidays aren't the same without her.
I hate Christmas though, when you don't have that 'special person' to buy a gift for and be all cute with, but hey there is always bridget haha. She is also easy to pick presents out for. I will be getting all my friends gifts this year, though. I won't be able to spend much. Ugh, I just hope I have a good Christmas.
Scott Frank keeps calling me to hang out but I am finding myself less interested in hanging out with him as time goes by. Only because I had a weird dream about him. We went to New York and he was being such an asshole to me, kept grabbing me in inappropriate places and then I told him I was afraid of fire or something (which is weird cause I'm really not) & he kept lighting matches in my face and laughing. Now I just think of him as a prick because of that dream haha, and i take it out on him in reality. isn't that weird? I wonder if anyone else changes their view on people because of a dream they have about them. Maybe it's just me but I need to stop doing that because it's just a terrible concept! I'm making people out to be something that they probably arent.
My dad is going out of town tomorrow until saturday. Meaning I'll have a lot of nights alone in this house, it's kinda scary. But exciting at the same time, no curfew! My dad makes NO sense haha. When he's home he will treat me like i'm twelve but when he leaves the state he wont care what i'm doing while he's gone. Theres no rules, all he said was to not throw a party. And trust me, this time i'm DEFINITELY not. How stupid, if i didn't the last time i'd still have a fucking ipod.
whoever is still reading this and is somewhat interested in these random aspects of my life, i love you! that's very sweet of you!
now i could have sworn there was some other things i wanted to say...
it'll come to me i'm sure. and if it does I'll save it for the next blogs presence.
now it's picture time.
No comments:
Post a Comment