It's 3:30am and everyone is sleeping at my house. everyone that includes my mother, sister, 2 brothers, and niece.
I dont know why I'm having trouble sleeping tonight, I must be thinking about this whole long shift thing tomorrow night/friday morning. I'm really not so into the idea of working throughout the whole night and mostly morning, ugh! oh well, I will be working with fun people and I already have a couple kids separately bringing me red bull at different times to keep me up : )
This morning I woke up at around 11, and went home. I got ready super fast, shower and all, and probably looked partially sickening but I don't really care. I hung out with Gage for a little bit and took him to starbucks and back home, it was very quiet and awkward. I couldn't tell ya why.
I then drove myself back home to finish packing my belongings and took a really long time contemplating whether or not I should take Pants with me to Beaufort. I chose: Not. Only because We have 4 other cats here who would bully her to the point of no return :( And it's just a hassle...
I drove to Beaufort which didn't seem to take long because I made up some really sweet music videos in my head to the songs I was listening to, wearing sweet retro clothes doing SWEET dance moves and what not. I am the queen of run-on sentences, trust me. Anyways, so I get home to find that my mom and my niece AND brother Andre all have the swine flu. I guess they picked it up on the plane ride here from Wyoming. So every second I'm just applying anti bacterial to my hands. I watched Hook with my sister mom and nevaeh then got a call from Kristen to go to her house for a bonfire and celebrate her birthday. I met up with Kristen at her house where Andrew and Dave came over, two people I havent seen in FOREVER and then chelsea and nick were there. Oh, and her boyfriend Jason who she does everything and goes everywhere with. So it was nice seeing everyone and hanging out by the fire. I had to go home because my sister wanted to see me as well so I had to tell them all goodbye and leave. We spent hours going through old pictures and found these love letters my dad sent my mom which i posted one below actually. and some of them made me think..."Aw" and some really grossed me out.
It just makes me sad that no one writes love letters anymore. They werent just from my dad, she had some from guys during the 70's that would just say the most sweetest things. No one really writes genuine long love letters anymore. The only thing close to that I've ever received were those dumb little notes i'd get in like the early years of high school or middle school from boys who had crushes on me or emo kids. Now people just flirt through technologenic portals like phones or facebook. It's all cute but, I want something to remember someone by. Like, I know it sounds dumb, but even though my mom and dad are divorced she still has these letters that are evidence that they actually once really cared about eachother. I dont have any evidence like that for someone. Cause it's not like I can stuff facebook in one of my drawers, or wrap a sweet text message in an envelope somewhere. It kind of scared me a little too, I don't see myself getting a love letter anytime soon and then I thought....what if I never do?! Technology is only going to enhance from now so there will be more reasons to not write them but it's just more reasons to me TO write them.
we'll see.
i'm ranting.
that's what I do when I'm trying to tire myself out.
It's working and I am excessively happy for that.
I hope everyone has a great thanksgiving, I'm not going to eat my body weight this year though and that's a promise.
I also hope my long-ish blog didn't bore anyone. I haven't blogged like this in a long time so I figured, hey, why not now?
This is me blogging-
as for how i feel.... I'm emotionally dead right now.
meaning, I must sleep.
love always,
mellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllface
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