do you think she'd be better, doing what I do best? I said I'm gonna have myself in shambles.

I'd hate to say I can call what's slowly happening.
I feel like I don't have anything to look forward to anymore.
things always end the same way.
It's like I'm not good enough for anyone in my life anymore.
I'm sick of feeling 'second best' to everyone, I don't think I deserve it.
Especially when the ones who are first, are always the undeserving ones.
I've had to be second best since the middle of 7th grade.
I want to be more than that.
why wait on such a lost cause.
this is useless.
it's impracticable.
And I hate being so negative, but whats the positive in all this I can point out anyways?