well is there something that you wanted from her? yes. I want her legs, body, and her cash.

"and is there something that you needed from her? no. and if she's playing hard to get i'm out the door."


My foot is currently in the state of sleep. If only it was so easy for my mind & body. I'm relaxed and content from the aroma of my always burning incense.
I was thinking. People want other people in complete opposite ways and it's hard to fit them exactly.
Everyone is either A or B.
A) They want someone who needs them and shows it.
B) They want someone who doesn't need them and shows it.

I'm B. I want someone who doesn't need me. How odd is that? But it's true thats what a lot of people want. There's some kind of joy and admiration in wanting whats hard to want back. Because it's like a new challenge everyday, almost some kind of excitement. & to some people it's not as scary, because the person who doesn't need them, never pushes anything or tries to rush into anything.
For the people that are A. Is actually more rare then B. But guys are more likely to be an A than B just because they like that a girl wants them around, and that they can be someone to lean on. Others can see it in a different way, this girl needs me so basically I feel like I have all control. I have this girl wrapped around my finger and I can do whatever I want and she can't do anything about it! Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be 'sexist' but you do find that more in guys than girls. Once that girl is viewed in that way, she will always be viewed that way to him. Because of that, she will never be taken seriously. I could never be an A because, I honestly hate the idea of being clung to. Some girls love it though, and see those guys the same way I said guys see girls. This has nothing to do with any guy in particular by the way, it's just an overall point I'm trying to make. Anyways, I don't like feeling suffocated I guess. In a way you can say I like the hard to get guys, but in less of a 'game' way. It's just weird how different people are. I don't know which is better either. I want to be an A, because finding someone would be so much easier for me. Not only that, but someone who really is a good guy. Is it weird to say I've always liked the assholes? Is that normal in the least bit? I think it is, but every girl has their tolerance levels of that kind of guy. Some are short, some can last really long. Some learn from who they were with, and some just crave more of that pain. They crave that crazy pain because it's one of the only kinds of pain that is actually fun and pleasurable to get! It's addicting, so they keep looking for more and more assholes. I've had my share of assholes and sincerely, that pain is just getting more and more of a hassle. Then I've had the sweet ones, and they never did anything wrong and were almost perfect. So why even hold a candle to the assholes? When the perfect ones just got kicked to the curb. Now that I think back on the almost perfect guys I once had, I start feeling a little regretful. I had one in the palm of my hand, he adored me in every way but I'd look for any excuse or flaw to be incredibly sickened by him. I hurt him, and it didn't hit me until now that what happened to him really is a shitty feeling. A year or two later he is completely different, he's now the 'man-whore' and I'm pretty sure he's been using girls and just...not like he was.
I'm different now myself, and I look back on picking the little nothing flaws on the people that don't deserve that, yet try to pretend all those real flaws on the assholes are just...non-existent. Sure it was fun in the making, but in the long run it just left me in a situation where it started happening back to me. I think it's making me more mature and realize you have to just...go with it.
I don't want to be B anymore.
I want to do things differently.
I want to start growing up.