& i'd offer you my hand, it would hurt too much to watch you die.

okay,
so last blog. totally emo sounding. i was in such a shitty mood when i wrote that, haha. & sure i'm still not really feeling great but i'm not going to sound like i hate life.
we live once, and life is actually really long, and it will go by at the pace you want it to if you just let it. don't force time to go by, just so you can wait for a happier moment. it will come, your not going to be sad forever. thats what i realized, every mood i'm in i just sink into it and make it linger. but i always forget that it will go away at some point or another. just going out to lunch with one of your friends can change the way you felt earlier that day. like, today. i thought, man everyones busy or grounded, im just sitting here alone and feeling terrible. but it WASNT like that, i went out to lunch with desiree and we just talked about everything, laughed, and just conversed. it totally switched me from depressed to loving life and the moment i was in. thats what we live for, is for those moments when we feel happy or like we are having fun. i mean, what else do we live for? make the best out of everyday, any situation. see the brighter side, not the dark.
it will be okay, in the long run. and at the end of the day, its not your boyfriend/girlfriend or best friend that made you happy. its yourself. you let yourself have fun, you let yourself live. you can do that no matter what, if you just find any joy whatsoever you will always be happy, and depending on yourself and never anyone else to fill a spot. its your job to fill it yourself and be happy with everything you do.
so, be patient. everything you could wish for will happen if you just let it. the more you force whatever it is to come that you think will make you incredibly happy, will ruin the chances. you just have to wait and believe it will get there.
i dont believe in much but i believe in a better tomorrow. at least now i do.
overlook whats making you feel like shit, whats getting you in a shitty mood or anything along those lines and just...be patient. and i know, this blog is really corny, but thats what life needs once in a while to get things said.