weekend was nice.
things are weird.
tomorrow might make me smile.
people are dicks.
people are sweet.
i want sweet.
i don't understand sports radio shows.
i have hours of sleep to catch up on.
jean tweets too much.
i don't really know her.
i'm deleting people on twitter.
need a new book to read.
olafur arnalds is a beautiful composer.
the moon tonight swept me off my feet.
i realized my hate for the word delicious.
i'm getting sick of the word pants, wouldn't have called it right?
being brunette is lovely.
i'm so frustrated.
in all sorts of frustrating ways.
this is obnoxious.
maybe i forgot how to blog.
maybe..
i...


fuck

you must stick up for yourself, son. nevermind what anybody else done.

Wow, I definitely looked at my MSN profile just now, and found pictures literally from 6th and 7th grade.
Here is proof that I was blonde, and also proof that I was an AWFUL looking blonde. These are horrendous, I had so many awkward stages growing up. Oh well. Ha, I love how a few blogs back I posted a bunch of old pictures, who would have thought I would find even older ones?










but the worst one of all :




Haha, wow, heres to one of the most embarrassing blogs of my life.
There are so much more pictures too. But I'm not even going to go there.
Oh well. It was middle school, and, I don't feel as awkward.
Yet, I am pretty awkward.
This is entirely awkward to be honest. Why am I posting this

I also can't believe I'm watching Dead Man on Campus, haha I haven't seen this in so long.
wow.
Blast to the past!

meh.

godspeed you black emperor: two thumbs up.

what i've been into.

so, i've been listening to nothing but instrumentals this past week.
i've been enjoying them more recently for two reasons:
a) it's a chance to really take in every note played by every instrument, rather then trying to focus on the lyrics someone is singing. sometimes, the music just comes out more beautiful. it gives me this...insane, orgasmic rush. (sorry for using imagery.)
b) you can kind of be more creative with these songs. i always paint a picture to it, and tell some sort of story or think of situations heavy on my mind. it intensifies mostly everything i'm thinking of.

lately, it's been a lot of explosions in the sky and various broken social scene songs, along with other orchestra music I downloaded from many sources. I'm still looking for more, new things.
mmm, theres this one broken social scene song that absolutely stuns me. it's so unbelievably chilling and it's called : I slept with Bonhomme at the CBC.
I'm pretty sure Bonhomme is french for snowman, and I found out that CBC stands for 'Canadian Broadcasting Corporation"
so, I found that interesting. and Lacie, since you read this, this is the song I was talking about that i'm pretty sure i want to walk down the aisle to on my wedding day. especially during the part where the japanese sounding instruments come in. i posted a video of this song below if one of you has never heard it. It would be the most perfect wedding, hopefully I'm still as into the song by then as I am now.
I also especially love, love & mathematics, alive in 85 & Da da da da.

Explosions in the sky, my favorites are Yasmin the light, First breath after coma, Glittering blackness, Your hand in mine, The birth & Death of day, and Catastrophe and the cure. A lot of these come from "All of a sudden I miss everyone", "The earth is not a cold dead place" & "Those Who Tell The Truth Shall Die, Those Who Tell The Truth Shall Live Forever"

So check some of those out while you're at it. The only difference is, explosions in the sky is ALL instrumentals, and Broken Social Scene isn't. these are just songs I really like, but all of their stuff to me is amazing.

This doesn't mean at all that I favor instrumentals over lyrical music. I like it all the same, it's just recently for some reason it has really been fantastic. I go through music phases, i'm sure a lot of you know that. I never stop liking something, i just listen to something else more than other things for a while. Like, around christmas I was listening to all oldies & classics. Which I love to death, but now, it seems to be instrumentals. and I think it's just lovely.

here is the video. please enjoy as I have. try even falling asleep to it, it creates a peaceful rest. oh, and either wait for or skip to 2:35 ish, that's the part that really draws me in.



By the way- this is lyrical but I just now introduced myself with Yeasayers new album "Odd blood", and I really like it! I don't know why I'm overdue on this, I really liked All Hour Cymbals. the first album sounded more...raw? I don't know, they definitely have different sounds to them but I love it!

guilty cubicles

i'm tired.
it was a good day, a spa day to be exact with the best friend.
kristen is coming to see me soon and actually visit me HERE instead of me going there.
so looking forward to it.

i didn't do as much school work as i hoped i would today. i can just make up for it tomorrow.
before i go to savannah : )
ah yay! happiness.
(by the way, what is up with everyone dropping out of school and also doing the internet thing now? i don't understand. is it a new fad? ugh.)
the lights went out last night around 2 am, and the baby i am clung to a flashlight. unless i'm sleeping with someone else next to me, i have to have some sort of light in the room, even if its really small. because when i was younger, i was severely afraid of the dark. i thought that phase of my life was just stagnant memories.
and last night i had the worst rush of fear come over me, the internet shut off, my laptop died after two minutes, and the tv and all the lights had gone off.
i wasn't awake at 2 am, mind you.
but i was woken up by a scared pants. she was trying to get as close to me as possible because the weather and sudden change of power shut off & scared her.
so i grabbed a flashlight and tried reading, basically shivering.
it sucked because i had nobody to call.
i always feel better when i have someones voice to feel comforted by, but i couldn't think of anyone that would seem right.
so i kept reading and holding my flashlight until i read myself to sleep. then, the next morning the power was completely fixed, and i felt so silly for feeling scared. i'm almost 18, i need to get over stupid things like that.
tonight derek and i oovoo'd out of boredom i guess.
his mom flipped out on me for no reason after reading one of our MSN conversations and i have no idea why because there was nothing bad in it, and she was all, it's in your best interest to stay away from derek" and i was just thinking, what? i barely even see him anymore.
but all that mess with his mom is over with when he explained it to me later on oovoo.
then, he stripped.



haha, except that was just a joke.
but i thought this picture was funny anyways, o la la.


bye!

i'm not your friend, i'm not your lover, i'm not your family.

I've learned a lot of new things in general and about myself this weekend.
can I explain them? not really.

everything has congregated nicely, though. understandable for me.
i've even come to realize that intense gusts of wind really freak me out.
like when they make spooky noises at my window, or almost throw me into another lane colliding with an 18-wheeler.
the weather has been, i guess you can say moody. it changes everyday.
my sister's husband told me that Charleston is most likely to have one of the largest earthquakes ever, sitting on a ginormous fault line or something.
that's kind of scary too.
but, i'm not worrying about any of these things right now.
because i can't be anymore anxious/excited to jump into the steamy, scorching shower i have prepared for myself right now.

mmm,

au revoir.

this is going to be a rather short blog.
really wonderful weekend, with major twists.
twists that remain unknown.
i'm at my sisters until tomorrow, then back on that stupid boring drive home.
Kingstree/ Manning is great! pretty southern for my taste-
but I enjoy it. it's a change of pace, i'm at their hunters lodge, cause thats where they live until their own personal house gets built on the farm.
it's really pretty here, my sister had to make advertisements for the farm and kind of used me in her pictures, because she experiments with photography now.
she kind of made me take cheesy-posed pictures and I put them on facebook, which i was kind of awkward about.
but oh well, i was so tired i really didn't feel like taking pictures..
I four wheeled! so fun. um, yeah. it's fun. life has been fun. fun, fun..

then why am i so...ugh.
dont know.
goodbye loverfaces.

:)